THOUGHT EXPERIMENTS IN PUBS

TEiP DEEP 23

PARTNERSHIP IN FUTURIA

SPOILER ALERT

Here is the Thought Experiment that we’ll discuss at TEiP DEEP.

It is broken into three chapters.

I recommend waiting to read the chapters sequentially at the event

…but if you’d like to know what they are ahead of time, here you go… :-)

CHAPTER 1

The FUTURIA MUMS’ CIRCLE happens once a week, on Sunday morning, in a church hall.

This is the only time most mums in Futuria are free. And only if they’ve managed to arrange childcare and don’t have looming work deadlines the next day.

Futuria has changed a lot over the past few decades:

The first sign was when girls started getting better exam results than boys back in the 90’s. This gender imbalance was seen as age-related. The theory was that girls’ brains develop before boys’ brains do. So, now that girls have equal access to education, they are doing better than boys at school. The assumption was that this imbalance in achievement would level out when brain development levelled out.

But it didn’t.

Over the past 30 years, those girls have become women who have continued to outperform against their male counterparts. They’ve also managed to smash the glass ceiling and achieve equal pay, thanks to most CEOs now being women.

Despite all this, caregiving in Futuria hasn’t changed. Surveys show that women are still responsible for the majority of caregiving and household labor in the city.

This is what the mums are talking about today in their 2 hours of precious time together on a Sunday morning.

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:

What do you think the mums are saying to one another?
How do you think they feel about the current state of things in Futuria?
How does the current situation in Futuria benefit men/women?
How does it harm men/women?
How do you think things are likely to change in coming years in Futuria?
Why do you think women are still responsible for the majority of caregiving and household labour in Futuria? Are there barriers to men taking on these roles?
What do you think the men in Futuria would be discussing if they had a similar circle?

CHAPTER 2

It’s Ana’s turn to share in the mums’ circle. She says:

“We’ve been finding it really difficult recently. I’m exhausted and stressed out, and Sam isn’t helping. It makes sense for him to stop work and look after the kids. My salary is more than enough for us. But he just can’t accept being a ‘stay-at-home dad’. At the moment we’re spending more on childcare than he earns! I think he’s worried about the label of ‘stay-at home dad’. He loves our kids, but he doesn’t think he’ll be respected if he doesn’t have a job. But I’m so tired, I can’t go on like this. It really doesn’t feel fair.”

Maria responds:

“That’s because it isn’t fair! The old social contract was that men provided financially, women provided in terms of caregiving and household labour. It was balanced. Sure it was totally unfair because women had no choice in the matter, but at least it was fairly balanced. Now we’re just doing everything!”

Shari comments:

“It must be unsettling for men though. Like, I understand why they’re having a bit of an identity crisis. Things have changed pretty fast. Maybe we can reframe the role of ‘stay-at-home-dad’. Make it feel more worthwhile or something.”

Maria responds:

“Nobody reframed it for us! We just had to do it. I actually find it insulting that men consider that looking after their kids and doing the cleaning might ‘diminish their self worth’. It’s the work we’ve been doing for millennia. It just proves they’ve been looking down on us and our work the whole time. Maybe they just need to put up with feeling a bit dissatisfied for a while?”

Shari responds:

“But that’s not going to help us in the long run. Ultimately, we want a peaceful, balanced society where partnerships are beneficial to both parties. I think it would be wonderful if either person can be the breadwinner and either person can be the ‘stay-at-home-caregiver’, or they both can do a bit of each. Ultimately, it would be best if work wasn’t gendered. All of this is quite heteronormative. Perhaps we should look to queer couples for inspiration, they’ve been balancing things without focussing on gender for years!”

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:

What are your thoughts on Ana and Sam’s situation?
Why do you think Sam is reluctant to become a ‘stay-at-home dad’?
What do you think of Maria’s points about the history of gender relations?
What do you think about Shari’s ‘ideal world’, where work is un-gendered?
Would you like to live in Futuria? How similar do you think Futuria is to ‘real life’? What is different?
Why do you think gender is such a contentious topic?
Why do you think caregiving is often given a lower status than other work? Do you think this could change? If it did, how might society change?

CHAPTER 3

Helen has been quiet for most of the meeting, but the others now turn to her and ask her what she thinks.

Helen: “Well, have any of you seen Ballerina Farm on instagram?”

There are a couple of nods, a couple of smiles, and some eye rolls.

Helen continues:

“For those of you who haven’t, Ballerina Farm is an instagram account that has gone viral for epitomising ‘tradwife’ culture.

A ‘tradwife’ is a “traditional wife” - a woman who chooses to do all the old roles like having loads of kids, cooking from scratch, raising chickens, milking cows, baking bread, sewing, supporting their husbands careers, etc, despite being academically successful and have promising career prospects of their own.

The tradwife movement is growing. It is controversial, but I must say, Ballerina Farm does make tradwife-ry look like a nice alternative to working round the clock at the office and then trying to cram everything else into the remaining hours!”

Ana comments:

“I think its great that traditional roles are getting more desirable, and that women are celebrating things like childrearing. But Ballerina Farm isn’t a great example. The woman who runs the account it is not only a ‘tradwife’, she’s also an entrepreneur, an influencer, a content creator, and by the looks of it, a workaholic! It might seem wholesome to consumers, but how many hours does she spend looking at a screen editing her videos of sourdough baking, how much money is she making from her online content, and how much hired help does she have to support the 8 kids she’s had?”

Maria responds:

“I think this is a ploy to get us back in the kitchen and out of positions of power.”

Shari says:

“I think its interesting that there’s been both celebration and backlash against Ballerina Farm. It’s become part of this bigger fight to define gender roles. I wonder, does a tradwife have to be a woman? Would it go viral if a man decided to embrace these roles? Maybe they already have? Anyone know of any instagram accounts like that?”

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:

Why do you think lots of women are now celebrating the role of ‘tradwife’?
Why is this so controversial?
How do you think Futurian society might react to ‘tradwifes’?
Are ‘tradwifes’ a step forwards or a step back? Are they challenging stereotypes or reinforcing them? Or both?
In a society that values freedom of choice, how can we distinguish between empowered decisions and those shaped by subtle pressures or backlash against progress?
What do you think Futuria as a society should aim for in terms of workforce/caregiving in future?

SOURCES:

BA, THOUGHT EXPERIMENTS IN PUBS Group Member inspired by JD, THOUGHT EXPERIMENTS IN PUBS Group Member working with AI

Ballerina Farm