THOUGHT EXPERIMENTS IN PUBS

BATTERSEA

HAPPINESS

1 TOOTHACHE

Iggy arrives home at 8pm and climbs the steep, crunchy staircase to his flat.

The staircase is crunchy because someone spilled a large box of cereal down it last week and nobody has volunteered to clean it up yet.

Iggy sighs and resigns himself to doing it tomorrow.

The lamp flickers in the hall and Iggy finds several letters on the doormat outside his front door. He knows that one of them is from his most difficult uncle.

Iggy has had a long day at his stressful job and knows that when he sits down on the sofa he’ll have to process it.

He hasn’t been sleeping well because the neighbour’s burglar alarm has been going off intermittently all week. They must be on holiday. Iggy wishes he was on holiday.

Walking through the front door, Iggy notices the scent of peppermint. His flatmate, Joules, must have lit his diffuser. But peppermint is a new choice.

Iggy looks around and spots Joules sitting cross legged in one corner of the room. His eyes are closed and he is motionless.

Iggy quietly puts his keys in the dish by the door and begins tiptoeing to his room. Just as he’s about to get there, Joules says:

“It’s ok man, I’m done.”

Iggy sighs and turns around:

“You’re done? What were you doing?”

Joules replies:

“Meditating on not having toothache.”

Iggy says:

“What? You have toothache?”

Joules says:

“No. That’s the point. I don’t have toothache. I’m lucky. I’m grateful. I’m meditating on that.”

Iggy says:

“Ok, well there are plenty of problems we do have that you could focus on rather than those we don’t. Maybe next time you could meditate on them and help me solve one or two of them. Or clean the stairs.”

Joules says:

“Iggy, you don’t get it. I’m meditating on the absence of a problem in order to feel good and grateful. Then all those problems we do have start to feel like nothing in comparison. Next week I’m going to meditate on not being in chronic pain.”

Iggy says:

“Yeah. I see. But what about doing something about our problems? Wouldn’t that make you feel even better?

I’ve made a list of everything we have to do. I’ll get on with it. Let me know if you want to join in.”

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:

What do you think of Joules’ attitude towards problems?
How about Iggy?
Whose perspective feels most natural to you?
Who do you think is happiest? Why?
Would you like to be more like Joules or more like Iggy?
What do you think of the phrase “Comparison is the thief of joy”?
Can comparison ever bring more joy?
Is it good to compare yourself with someone else in order to feel happy?

SOURCE: BA, THOUGHT EXPERIMENTS IN PUBS Group Member

2 SAD WEATHER

Leena and Helen pull into Chieveley service station just outside London. It’s early on a Tuesday morning and they’re both tired.

It's been raining solidly for almost all of February. Everything feels sodden and the sky hangs heavily over the country.

There were one or two days of respite, the sun struggling through, but on the whole, it's been wall to wall drizzle.

The two women buy a packet of hot crossed buns from M&S and then head to Costa for coffee.

They order their coffees and chat with the Latina barista. She says:

“It’s sad weather today”.

Leena and Helen nod and commiserate.

In the car, eating their hot cross buns, sipping their steaming coffee, they both think about the barista’s remark.

Leena says:

“Sad weather….I guess it is sad.”

Helen replies:

“I noticed that turn of phrase too. It’s unusual, but it makes sense. It made me feel a little sad. I hope she’s not too affected by the rain.”

Leena:

“It made me think that when it’s raining it’s like the sky is crying.”

The next day, the clouds part and the UK is blessed with sunshine and higher temperatures than it’s had all year. People walk along the pavements carrying their coats.

Leena and Helen are having coffee in their regular spot, a small cafe that catches the early morning sunshine.

Helen says:

“Today is happy weather!”

Leena replies:

“Yes! I hope the barista from yesterday is having a better day. Look at everyone! They all look happy.”

Helen says:

“It’s the relief that the drizzle is finally over!

My father always used to say that ‘hunger is the best spice’, meaning: you’ll never enjoy food so much as when you’ve been really hungry.

I think it's the same with the weather. You never enjoy the sunshine as much as when you’ve just got through a month of rain or a long winter.”

Leena says:

“I wonder if that’s true with emotion too. Does it make you happier to have experienced a little sadness?

Should we appreciate drizzle and sadness because they make sunshine and happiness even better?”

Helen says:

“Some of the happiest people I know have been through some of the most awful tragedies. Maybe its because they can compare every day with those dark days and feel relieved.”

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER

Can you have happiness without sadness?
For you, is there such a thing as ‘sad weather’ and ‘happy weather’?
Do people living in LA, where it is almost consistently sunny, miss out on some of the seasonal happiness that we experience in the UK?
What makes something have the quality of “happiness” or “sadness”?
If we need sadness to enhance our happiness, should we lean into feeling sad sometimes?
How important is sadness?

SOURCE: BA, THOUGHT EXPERIMENTS IN PUBS Group Member

3 COOL AND HAPPY

You’re walking along The Southbank on the first sunny day of Spring.

Everyone is smiling.

There’s a small funfair, full of shrieking children. One of the rides plays the same bouncy song on repeat. You can smell candyfloss.

Two students are walking in front of you. They are wearing trenchcoats and sharing a cigarette. You catch part of their conversation.

Pri says:

“I don’t like happy places. Come to think of it, I don’t like happy people either.”

Sally replies:

“What are you talking about? You’re not Scrooge. You like happy people. I’m a happy person.”

Pri:

“I mean this garish, sickly sweet kind of happiness. Rainbow colours and over the top voices. It’s so in your face. It’s so tacky and fake.

You’re not like that. You’re more like ‘content’ than ‘happy'‘.”

Sally:

“I don’t know, I like to think of myself as both happy and content. To me,

happy is being positive and delighted by the world.
content is more like being satisfied.

I want to be both.

I think maybe the kind of people you don’t like are jubilant rather than just happy. I don’t think you can be quietly jubilant.”

Pri:

“It’s semantics isn’t it? You know what I mean.”

Sally:

“Yeah, but words matter. I think the more words we have for something, the more nuances we notice. Maybe we need more words for happiness.

I’d like to know why you don’t like jubilant people. Don’t they cheer you up sometimes?”

Pri:

“No, they give me the ick.”

Sally:

“Why?”

Pri:

“Well they’re a bit lame, aren’t they. It’s not cool to be jubilant is it?”

Sally:

“It can be. Bad Bunny is the coolest music star at the moment and his performances are very jubilant.”

Pri:

“Yeah, but he never looks all that happy when he’s performing. He rarely smiles. He’s not grinning at the camera saying how wonderful everything is.

Can you think of anyone else who is happy and cool?”

Sally:

“Well, not off the top of my head. But I’m beginning to think that being cool is overrated if it means never smiling!

Or actually, I’m beginning to think that not smiling in order to be cool is actually not cool! And fake!

Look at these kids. They’re loving this funfair. It’s not “cool”, but they don’t care. They are genuinely delighted by it.”

Pri:

“That’s because they’re kids! But as an adult, you grow out of thinking funfairs are cool.”

Sally:

“That’s a shame. I think I’d rather be a genuinely happy kid than an adult trying too hard to be cool.”

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:

What do you think of Pri’s attitude towards happiness? What about Sally’s?
Pri thinks that being happy is incompatible with being cool. What influences might he have had?
Sally suggests that we might need more words for happiness, to describe different ways of feeling happy (e.g. jubilant, content). Can you think of any others?
What’s the difference between ‘genuine’ happiness and ‘fake’ happiness? Can you tell the difference?
Children find bright colours and garish voices delightful, but teenagers often find them ‘uncool’. Why?
Does trying to be cool make people less happy?
Can you think of any examples of people who are jubilant and cool?
If you had to choose, would you rather be perceived as happy or cool?

SOURCE:

BA, THOUGHT EXPERIMENTS IN PUBS Group Member