THOUGHT EXPERIMENTS IN PUBS

ST PANCRAS

LOSS

1 NADIA, ANNE, & DANIEL

It has been nine months since Nadia’s friend Anne passed away. The cancer acted fast; by the time Anne found out, it was too late. Anne did not have any parents, siblings, or children, so her husband Daniel got everything when she died. Every pound, painting, bit of furniture and sentimental item went to him.

Daniel is a good man; Nadia respects him a lot. He volunteers at the local youth club, and after her death, he has been going to church more.

Nadia’s friend group has struggled with the death, particularly Daniel. Everyone in the friend group is settled and they have grown closer after Anne’s death. Daniel has just taken out a loan to start his tutoring business; he is finally getting on his feet again.

While cleaning her flat Nadia found Anne’s handbag which she must have left ages ago, in her storage room. She opened it up. She found a sandwich in Tupperware, it was mouldy. She found Anne’s almost empty Miss Dior perfume, her notebook, and a packet of cigarettes. Nadia opened the notebook out of morbid curiosity.

Anne was scared to the very end but put on a brave face for the friend group. Nadia found scraps of journalling. One of them contained an admission that Anne had a crush on the barista at the local coffee shop. Nadia knew that Daniel probably would not enjoy hearing about that, but Nadia did not know if he would want to know…

Nadia found notes made by Anne planning her will, dated a week before she died. It detailed that she wanted her possessions split roughly equally between her friends, rather than all going to Daniel, as well as details on what things should go to which friend. The flat was meant to go to Sam, not Daniel. Sam and Daniel have been going through a rough patch recently.

Nadia is troubled on whether to tell everyone about the contents of the notebook, tell just Daniel or respect her privacy and burn it. Nadia closed the notebook and put it in a cupboard in her desk. Nadia took a deep breath and missed her.

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:

(Let the conversations drift, but if you need to stoke the embers of conversation consider these questions…)

What should Nadia do?...
What would you do?...
If there is a difference, why? …
When should you respect the wishes of the dead?...
When shouldn’t you let people know the truth about their loved ones?...
‘If the truth kills them let them die.’ Do you agree?
At a funeral should we speak well of the dead, or truthfully?

SOURCES: CB, THOUGHT EXPERIMENTS IN PUBS Group Member - join his community and events here.

2 JANE, CALLAGHAN, & ERIC

Twelve years ago today, Jane lost her first husband Callaghan in a motorcycle accident on their honeymoon in Venice. They had only been married for six days. They had known each other since childhood and married early. Callaghan's death destroyed her. She keeps a large picture of him in her living room, with candles, incense, and a small statue of the Virgin Mary, as well as a small picture of him by her bedside. Both Jane and Callaghan were Catholic. Jane's faith is strong, and she became more religious after Callaghan's death.

Seven years ago, Jane met Eric. Two years ago, they married. Eric has always been tolerant of Jane's faith as well as her relationship with Callaghan. Neither Eric nor his parents have ever had any sort of religious persuasion. Eric generally calls himself an atheist. Jane gets up most mornings quite early, lighting the candles beneath Callaghan's picture, before she starts her day. Eric and Jane love each other, but this morning Eric got up a bit earlier than usual, and they had a row. It began as Jane was lighting the incense.

This is how it went:

Eric: Leans against the wall

Jane: You're up early.

Eric: ... yeah. Fancy a cup of tea?

Jane: Yeah, just give me sec.

silence

Eric: ... you ever think maybe, it's time you stop all this?

Jane: Eric, please.

Eric: Look, I know he's a saint but... don't you think it's a bit much... It's a little shrine.

Jane: I don't know, Eric. Just, can we not right now?

Eric: It's weird, Jane.

Jane: It brings me peace.

Eric: It doesn't bring me peace.

Jane: What, are you jealous? (she says in a light mocking tone)

silence

Eric: ... Yeah.

Jane: Well, sighs Eric, you know what you were signing up for.

Eric: I know, I know... Who are you going to spend eternity with?

Jane: You don't believe in heaven, Eric.

Eric: I know... but you do.

silence

Jane: Look, don't do this. This is silly.

Eric: And this isn't? He picks up a candle

Jane: ERIC, CAN YOU JUST STOP!

silence

Eric: Which one of us is it? He looks her in the eyes intensely and searchingly

Jane: Well... She swallows, her throat tightens and she looks away, then looks at him searchingly

Silence

Eric: Well. Fine then. If that's what you believe.

He storms off

Jane: Eric... She sighs and continues to light candles

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:

(Let the conversations drift, but if you need to stoke the embers of conversation consider these questions…)

Who is in the right?
Should she take down the 'little shrine'?
Is respect for the dead ever unhealthy?
Can people of different faiths have healthy romantic relationships?
Who should Jane spend eternity with?
Does Eric have the right to be jealous?

SOURCE: CB, THOUGHT EXPERIMENTS IN PUBS Group Member - join his community and events here.

3 JAMIE & HANAD

London, England, 2006

Jamie, Hanad, and their group of friends were watching the film Black Hawk Down on the television. It is a dramatised version of the 1993 battle of Mogadishu. It follows the American victory over Somali forces led by a warlord through the lens of a few American soldiers. Afterward, people start cracking out drinks and gushing about how good it was. That is when Hanad decides to tell everyone... 'My father died in Mogadishu.'

Jamie: 'What?! Was he a civilian or something, I had no idea that you-'

Hanad: 'I know, I know. I've seen the film before, don't worry about it. He was not a civilian, he was a soldier.'

Jamie: 'Oh... well. I'm sorry to hear that.'

Hanad: 'The only Somali speakers are unnamed. Somewhere in the piles of nameless, faceless, militants stacked high by American heroes in that film, lies my father-'

Jamie: 'Mate, I am so sorry, I wouldn't have put the film on if I knew-'

Hanad: ‘It's okay. I know. It's just that the tragedy of each American soldier's death in that film is treated with such worship. Whereas the ocean of unnamed others die in action scenes that feel like a dance sequence in a musical. In each of the unnamed Somali faces. I could see my father.'

Jamie: 'They were the bad guys though...'

Hanad: 'I know, but they were people, they were people’s sons and they were people’s fathers. They may not have deserved a name, but I wish they had them.’

Jamie: 'What was his name?'

Mogadishu, Somalia, 1993

There they were seventy yards off. I could see them. There they are, now brethren! My blood bangs against my elbows. Scalding shocks roar through my system. Roaring, rust fire hits against our half-walls with an attempt at momentum against us. 'KILL THEM!' I scream, choking on the bloody acid that spills between the teeth in my lower jaw. Bitterness fires from these rifles.

Look up once at the constellations that never descended to this place. The neurochemical machinery of nations has caught my flesh and pulled me into its sex. Pressure builds in every corner of my being. The glare from the sun is shadow compared to the muzzle flash. You spill me.

The imperialist's lungs are filled with the acrid smell of ammunition smoke; this same smoke blinds their eyes. We have waived our right to their mercy. The scale of what is being waged surpasses the comprehension of any one man, hence this war has become a collective delusion.

The clockwork of states has no pendulum. They have taken a quarter of the city. I beg of the western hemisphere like Moses begged the pharaoh. Let my people go.

I fear I am on the wrong side of an inevitability.

QUESTIONS TO CONSIDER:

(Let the conversations drift, but if you need to stoke the embers of conversation consider these questions…)

Should we be empathetic to enemies truly on the wrong side of history?
Is non-defensive war ever justified?
Should you hate your enemies?
Does death grant you the right to remembrance?
On remembrance Sunday do we remember everyone who orchestrated the holocaust too?
‘Did our boys die in vain?’

SOURCE: CB, THOUGHT EXPERIMENTS IN PUBS Group Member - join his community and events here.